Predominant practices in our home
When I was a child, I still remember those old days that I was able to feel so much happiness because of rewards I received from doing an outstanding performance in school or at home. I will enumerate good acts/deeds that I used to do with corresponding rewards as this were the ways of my parents to reinforce positive behavior to us. I have 3 siblings and we happen to compete just to who will the first one to receive such wonderful reward. Those who can do a good act will be rewarded and if not, of course there’s a corresponding punishment to it.
1. Waking up in the morning on or before 6 o’clock (an early riser).
Purpose: To practice punctuality in going to school and patriotism for the flag ceremony every morning before the classroom discussion starts
Can’t: a. Wash the dishes in the afternoon lunch b. Clean the yard in the afternoon after class.
Can do: a. Additional allowance of P1.00 will be given b. Can watch a 30 minute cartoon TV series on that certain day c. Perfect early rising for a week is equivalent to 1 pack of chocolate (I forgot the brands)
2. Having good test/exam results in each subject
Purpose: To practice academic excellence at school
Can do: a. Can watch 2 movies during the weekend b. Can eat my favorite meal like adobo and higado thrice a week
Can’t: a. Wash my socks and underwear, 2 pair of uniform
1. Not eating vegetable meal
Purpose: To have a balanced diet
Can do: a. Adobo recipe will be provided after eating vegetable in a certain meal. No veggie, no adobo. This dish is partners at all times.
2. Did not share my food to others like biscuits, chocolate
Purpose: To practice sharing what I have
Can do: a. More biscuits to be given (like double the number so that I can share more to others)
Can’t: a. No biscuit nor chocolates at all.
Discipline Without the Punishment
According to the International Child and Youth Care Network, punishment doesn’t work as a response to negative behavior that there are certainly ways to moderate our child’s behaviors without using techniques that are equally as negative as her actions. So I want to do this as well. Instead of reacting in a punishing way by yelling at or grounding my child, I’ll try talking to her. I will calmly discuss her behavior and tell/explain the good and bad consequences of her behavior. In that way, I believe she’ll realize what she has done wrong and will think of those consequences if she happen to do the same behavior or a wrongful act again.
I believe that punishments tend to lead to more negative consequences. A swat on the bottom is a mild physical punishment. As Valya Telep says in her research, a former Extension Specialist, Child Development at Virginia State University, “While it may do no permanent physical harm, it does not help the child develop a conscience. Instead, it teaches him that physical violence is an acceptable way of dealing with problems.”
Praise Vs. Rewards
I believe in providing praise to a child in an effort to reinforce positive behaviors and dissuade negative ones isn’t exactly the same as giving out rewards. So I will praise her simply and let my child know that she is on the right track. I believe that praise can also help to offset frustration and promote development.